Ok, the reality of today is that when you want a quick fix or the next best thing you go to the internet and someone guarantees you the keys to success for a fee. I am here to tell you that i am about to give away the golden nuggets for exactly $0. Yes, gentleman, zippy, nada, nothing.
Guys, there is one thing that you need to understand. When you get promoted to SVP of Household Ops you need to do WHATEVER it takes to keep your position and aim for future growth in the company. There are several things you need to do to assure that you not only hold your position but make yourself indispensable in the company. See, the average recruiter will tell you that these days you need to separate yourself from the pack and make sure that you stand out. I, on the other hand will tell you that yo need to take yourself to RockStar status in your household and make sure that you are the glue that holds it all together. Listen, the reality is you are 15 pounds and a receding hairline away from being replaced. If you look like a frat boy with 15 extra pounds and are only interested in fantasy football and poker night , your wife is not taking yoga to learn downward dog for nothing.
Listen, I am not saying that these next few tid bits are full proof but I can tell you that they will get you closer to CEO of Household OPS.
Ok, here we go, swipe your credit card and we can continue : kidding, sometimes I can be a bit of an ass.
1. Stay in shape, she deserves it. That quote actually won me a radio contest in St Louis that got me a $100 gift card that I never used. I have the card in my wallet as a keepsake to remind me why I am the best at what I do. the question was " What tips do you have for a stay at home dad". My tip was one of thousands that made the air and won me $100. Trust me I am a lot smarter than I look. : ) Listen I work out seven days a week and if they added an eight day I would do some light cardio just to feel good about myself. I think that if your wife is willing to go out and make the bacon the least we could do is make sure that she comes home to something that looks more like a calendar than a before picture.......know what I mean? There is a sense of responsibility to make sure that you are keeping up to your end of the bargain. Do some push ups, pull ups and cardio and you should be fine. if you are like me, subscribe to the beach body plan and get all the new Tony Horton DVD's. You'll get jacked in 90 days and thank me later.
2. Learn how to cook. I am not asking you to go see Gordon Ramsey and learn how to make some ridiculous meals that require a great deal of attention, but I am asking you to be able to have a hot meal on the table when she walk through the door. More than likely is she ate like junk all day and is looking to you to provide the one meal of the day that will have some nutritional value......don't mess it up! Do not under ANY circumstances mistake nuggets and fries for a meal that will make her happy. Put some effort into it and make sure that when she walks through the door she says" wow, what smells so good" JACKPOT FELLAS ...... you might actually get some tonight, kidding we all know that we are married and that is reserved for weekends, birthdays and the occasional wednesday night rollover. hehe. Seriously, read a cookbook or two and be able to make a solid fish , chicken and lasagna dish. She is the mother of your children and works her as off, the least you could do is make sure she gets a good meal when she gets home.
3. Fire your housekeeper. Listen, if your wife is at work and your kids are at school or napping for 3-4 hours per day there is no reason in the world you can't clean the house. I myself am a neat freak so when the kids make a mess the mess is going before they leave the room. That being said, if you fire the housekeeper, there is a NEED for someone to clean. you as the SVP fill that need for a very nominal fee. Take your time and makes use that your kids could eat their fruit loops off the floor and all of the sudden you have elevated your stock from caretaker/buff nugget to .....caretaker//buff nugget and housekeeper. Holy shit fellas that to me is a trifecta. the likelihood of finding a guy that can cook, clean and is in shape is like the Jets winning the super bowl with Mark Sanchez at the helm.......1 in a million! Stock rising. Do you see what is happening here?
4. Rock Star Status. I am a stay at home dad with two little girls but there is one thing that i am certain of. I am an absolute Rock Star in their eyes. There is nothing in the world i would not do for them to make them smile and they know that come hell or high water Dad's got their back! Listen to your kids and make sure you never dismiss any of their concerns as silly or unimportant. If they are important enough for them to bring them up,they are important enough for you to listen to. Make every day a Friday and no matter what is going on in this crazy world, shield them from it and make sure that the most disastrous thing in their world is the argument they had on the bus about which Barbie was the hottest. Get involved, volunteer at school, download their favorite music and memorize all of the lyrics. you got one shot deal.......make it count!
Its not full proof....and far from a Bible, but those are some pretty solid stepping stones to make sure you get off to a good start. Best of all.........FREE. WHY? Because I am that type of guy. I believe in paying it forward. Nobody sat me down and gave me the rules, I learned them on my own. Had someone told me these tips I'd be two years ahead of where I am now. Enjoy, and remember........Michael Jordan once said " I missed `100 % of the shots I didn't take" Break some eggs, pull a muscle on the treadmill and have some fun in the process. You get one chance to be a parent........SWING FOR THE FENCES.
SVP- OUT
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