"Little Kids and Sports"

          Let me just start by stating this blog was inspired  after watching  a "coach" last night act like a complete and utter fool.  I promised a long time ago I would not use crude language, and will continue the trend , but this guy had my blood boiling, and it really made me take a good hard look at my daughters' activities, and what they are getting themselves into.
          I was not a "star" athlete in High School as I played football for a team that was more interested in getting their names on a jersey than actually winning games. Our team was a dismal 1-8 my senior year, but at the end of the day I was a 150 lb( soaking wet) Receiver and Cornerback who was not looking at any pro prospects. Essentially for me, it was intramural sports and weekend games of flag football for the remainder of my career.  I accepted that, and from that point forward realized that sports would be a "fun" activity for me.  Key on the word fun, as it will come back later.
          Before we had the girls I was able to coach a pee wee football team while we were living in Maryland. I had a BLAST!!! The kids were 9-12 yr olds and they were fun, athletic and really seemed to enjoy the game. My Head Coach was a good friend who had a son on the team and we really worked well together.  We had the team humming and that year we won the Championship!  The kids were elated and I could not wait until the next season to do it all over again.  Well, the next year, my friend was called up to the older team and he wanted me to come with him.  This time, however,  there  was a new Head Coach, and we were both going to be acting in an Assistant role. We were two weeks into the new season and I quit. Yes, I hate to use the word , but after watching this coach demean the kids by yelling at them and treating them like dirt, I decided that I did not want to be a part of the team.  I spoke with my friend and explained that I was not going to be a part of a team that did not have fun while playing the game. The boys were petrified and they clearly were not enjoying practice or the games.  He stayed, I left.  I retired a coach with a Championship.....I was OK with that.
          Fast forward to us having the girls, and now I am in a position to coach my daughters softball team. My buddy approached me and asked last season if I wanted to help him coach and I immediately said yes. We had a quick season last year to get our feet wet and then this year we took over the "Lightning" squad.  We have a group of 7 and 8 year olds that are learning the game and trying to figure out good technique. More importantly, they are getting to spend time with new friends while running around the bases.  I love coaching and thought this would be a great opportunity for me to spend more time with my eldest and figure out if she was going to be a ball player or a track phenom.  See, my eldest is fast, and I mean FAST!  She runs like the wind, but when you put a ball in front of her everything breaks down.  She really seems to be enjoying softball, so I think we might be able to fine tune some of her skills and make it fun for her.
          Fast forward to last nights game. It's raining off and on and we are just trying to get through 5 innings without anyone getting hurt or sick.  We happen to have a few girls on out team that hit REALLY well.  These two girls can put a hurting on a softball.  After one of them ropes a line drive to the outfield the other "coach" starts complaining.  Yes, complaining!  Out loud he is questioning how old she is and whether or not she should even be allowed to play on a team of 7 and 8 yr olds.  He even went as far as to ask her how old she was and whether or not she should be playing on a travel team.
          Needless to say this infuriated me. I tried to keep it light and approached him and explained how old she was and that her sister was a ball payer at the High School which could possibly explain why she was so advanced.  He continued to complain, and actually shifted his better played to positions where she was hitting the ball.  At that point he then started sending girls for extra bases and was clearly trying to make the game more about him than the players.  Needless to say we crushed them and scored 16 runs.  I know we are not supposed to keep track but this guy brought me to a point where I started counting runs out loud! Yes, I know, two wrongs don't make a right.
         What I'm ultimately getting at here is that if you are going to coach your kids team, make it about them. Yes I understand that you want to make them better and work on their skills, but they are 8!!!!  They have plenty of time to get better and work on hitting, fielding and all the essentials that will lead to a fruitful softball career.   Don't be "that guy". I am as competitive as the next guy but the last thing I want for my kids os for them to dread going to practice or a game.   Let them figure out what they want to play. If they don't like soccer, find something else.  If the can't stand softball, find something else. You had your shot, and I'm guessing that if you are coaching your kids team,  and not wearing a professional jersey of some sorts than it didn't go all that well for you.  And ladies, please take this the right way, but if you are critiquing your kids at gymnastics and you yourself can't do a cartwheel, save the commentary.  I don't recall seeing you on the cover of a Wheaties box when I was growing up.  I almost want some of these gymnastic Mom's to throw on a leotard,  hop on the rings and show us how its done. Unfortunately, we all know how that would end up.  Kids are smart, they will figure it out, we are simply there to guide them and help them along.
          Last night before our game I told the girls the word of the day was "FUN" We even chanted it before and after the game   I am pleased to announce they had a blast. They were all hitting the ball running bases and laughing the entire game.  My daughter struck out a few times last night but looked me dead in the face and said" I'm going to keep my head up". That's coaching!  Make it about them.  Who knows, they may even enjoy it and get REALLY good at it!


SVP-OUT!

"Adventure Princess"

              It's been way too long since my last blog, but I wanted to take on a topic that means a great deal to me.  I recently had the opportunity to take a 3 day camping trip with my girls which quite frankly was one of the best experiences of my life.

            About 6 months ago I was approached by a good friend of mine who wanted me to become part of the "Adventure Princess"  program through the YMCA. I initially resisted. Listen, I'm a stay at home dad with two girls and a ten pound dog, did I really need to become part of a group called the Adventure Princess' ? 

            Thankfully, I put ego aside, and joined the group. What I thought would be an absolute nightmare with Dad's standing around and girls gabbing the entire time became something quite different. See, the program had us do different activities each mont in an effort to keep all involved engaged in the process.  

           Throughout the year we gathered once a month to keep in touch and do different things such as bowling, roller skating, tubing, a trip to Lake George, and more.  I think what impressed me most about our group was the fact that everyone showed up! All Dad's were on deck, and all the girls were present at the different activities.  See, I have a different perspective than all of those in my group, as I am home with my girls.  When I was joking about these trips being "work" for me, these guys were taking full advantage of the time they had to have one on one face time. These activities in a way made me realize that I am, by far, the luckiest guy on the planet. 

          The Princess season culminated with a 3 day camping trip to Frost Valley. Picture a wooded area with a bunch of "nature loving" guides and no cell phones. To be honest, it was awesome to completely unplug, but even more awesome to watch the Dad's that have full time jobs completely unplug and just embrace the weekend for what it was. The constant smiles from the girls were refreshing. We played soccer, climbed rock walls, ate really unhealthy food, but most importantly let our girls know that we were there for them.  There was even a checklist created for both Dad's and daughter's so we were on a level playing field going into the weekend. 

          The list consisted of such items as: 

 - Dad told child he loved her at least once over the weekend

   - Dad encouraged child to try something new over the weekend

   - Dad spoke to child about the importance of exercise 

    - Dad spent a minimum of ten hours interacting directly with child

    Needless to say, I hit them all, and based on the character of the Dad's in my group, they hit them all too! 

           I guess the reason for the blog is to let you know that these opportunities only come around once in a while, and we as parents need to take advantage of every opportunity we can to make a difference in the lives of our children. I recently read an article that a friend sent to me that talked about parents spending entirely too much time on their cell phones and checking emails, and not nearly enough time interacting with the one thing that means the most to all of us......our kids!  I'm not passing judgement on anyone, just suggesting that when these opportunities arise........GRAB THEM and run with them! What you may see as a slight inconvenience, they will see as a game changer.  Kids see, hear and soak up way more than we give them credit for. I know at the end of the day, I want them to look back and say " Yeah, my Dad did some really cool things with me",  .........don't you? 

          Thankfully, my good friend suggested I lead the circle next year, and I gladly accepted the challenge!  

       

SVP-OUT!