In order to get a feeling for the conversation I was so fearing, I need to set the stage for you. My father is an amazing person . He worked his way out of a small town and made a life for himself in the clothing industry that most would envy. He works his tail off and has the toys to show it ...but make no mistake ...the toys were earned. He is a loving husband, a phenomenal role model and most of all is looked up to by all of the grandkids. When Pop Pop hits a room you know it because the kids scatter and all try and make place on his knee. Now rewind a few decades and we have a stern, yet fair guy who never spanked....he never had to . He had that presence that when he entered the room it was all business. He raised his voice occasionally, and that was all we needed to make us get back on track. He has some of the most famous quotes in the family....our favorite is " Ya know sometimes I think you have your head up your ass". I've tried it a few times and clearly nobody can deliver it the way he does. He once told me if I didn't take my earring out ( Yes I had an earring...it was the early 90's ..all guys did) he would remove it himself by pulling it out.....Game set match....I left that fake diamond on the counter before I went back to school !! He told me once I got a job " If you are making money, all your shirts go to the dry cleaner" ....for those of you that know me.....thats where it comes from...if you wrinkle my shirt or mess up my cuffs there is a 90% chance we are going to fight . Needless to say he has been a huge influence on m life. He instilled a work value, he introduced me to fitness and he has always provided an open door policy! That being said...this was not going to be an easy call for me.
So, the promotion is announced, the process of moving to St Louis is under way and there is one phone call that I am dreading........my dad. As you know, if you were ever to ask me who my role model would answer with no hesitation....my dad. He took me in when I was around 10 yrs old when my parents were going through an awful divorce. From that day forward I watched my Dad make my lunch, get me to school and head off to work. My father is an Exec at a large clothing company, and has been working his tail off for the last I can't even count the years. He came from a small community and left to join the Marines to get out, and even named his boat Semper Phi. He has worked since work was an option and the call I had to prepare myself for was one to tell my father, my role model that I was going to be the caregiver and my wife was going to be the breadwinner.
It's not that I feared what his reaction would be because come hell or high water he was going to tell me that he was excited and would offer his blessing. I guess it was a sense of me thinking I was letting him down. Here is a guy that works from bell to bell to provide and live the good life, and here is his son who is a Househusband. The concept still bothers me to this day and quite frankly the majority of the reason I want to get back to work is to restore this feeling of value to my father. I know that he is proud of me and I know that he is ecstatic to see where my family is and the things we have accomplished, but for some reason I just can't shake the feeling that I need to produce more.
So the call is made and guess what ? I went as planned. My father could not have been happier for us and I was excited that he was excited. To this day, and its been three years , he only asks if I am ok, not when are you going back to work or anything that would make me feel out of place. He has responded in the way a mentor, friend and father is supposed to respond. He has been supportive and proud of what we have been able to accomplish and where we are in our lives. I only hope he is as proud of me as I am of him.
Love you Dad !
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