If you would have told me in 1995 that I would be a stay at home dad with two little girls, I would have laughed in your face. But looking back on the last three years it is clear to me that I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime. When we had our first child, I cried like a baby and then realized that the big man upstairs was playing a cruel joke on me for giving me a girl. I could see him sitting up there on his lay-z-boy laughing saying" There ya go big guy! Remember all those rotten things you did when you were in High School, and College and wearing that ridiculous ponytail tanning seven days a week? Now you gotta deal with that guy knocking on your front door !!" I could actually hear him laughing. Then we got pregnant again, rephrase, my wife got pregnant again, I did little to nothing to initiate, I'm a guy! We had another little girl, and it hit me, I was going to have to change my mindset, and get ready to prepare these girls for the clowns that are sure to be ringing the doorbell.
Then the life changing call from my wife that we were moving to St Louis, and she would be traveling every other week for 2 to 3 days a week, AKA, " you just got promoted to SVP of Household Operation". I made it through diapers, and even have a favorite princess, Jasmine, she's so hot and I even got my picture taken with her at Disney. Is that creepy? Don't answer that because I don't care ! I started watching Disney movies, and frighteningly enough, really like them. There is a calmness about the movies and a feel good to them that puts a smile on my girls faces, and makes me take notice. You can't get any of that from Power Rangers or Spongebob.
All was good on the home front until our oldest hit 6, then came Bieber Fever. All the sudden it was "Baby, Baby, Baby....oh!! " and purple here there and everywhere. That kid was all over every wall we had in the house and on everything that had a speaker that produced sound. Scariest part was, if you pulled up next to me at a light, my Yukon was pumping Bieber. I tried to fight it with every ounce of my being but that kid was forcing his way into my home like an intruder. He knocked down the door and sat in my favorite char and drank my beer while I just stood there and watched. Then came the worst part of all, his movie. I must say however, I loved it ! I took the girls to see it, and to see their faces was priceless. They sat in their chairs motionless and rocked back and forth when the songs were on, and me, I was rocking in my seat like I was at a Bon Jovi concert in 1993 !! I give the kid credit, he started with a video on YouTube and marketed himself from top to bottom. He worked his butt off to get where he is, and although I want to hate him with every ounce of my being, I can't. He earned his fame and puts a smile on my girls faces so win-win.
My iPod has more kids songs than would like to admit, my DVD collection is certainly not what it used to be but then again neither am I. I am a Dad that has two little girls . I will go to the ends of the earth to see them smile, and make sure that I am a good listener. I will continue to workout and make sure that I am a step faster than any of the 'Dudes" that ring my bell. Yes boys, that was your one and only warning.
The girls are sleeping and my wife is traveling, time for a beer and Two and a Half Men ! (with Charlie Sheen of course!! )
Goodnight !
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The grocery store .......
Somebody told me that I should start keeping a log my observations so I decided that this year I would give it a shot. I have been a stay at home dad now for three years and it has been nothing short of amazing. I have two girls.. 4 and 7 and my wife is an Executive at a large company. I'm hoping the writing will be therapeutic. If you enjoy it let me know, and if you don't, let me know too !!! That being said, let's go to the grocery store.
Well, today was the day to go to the grocery store, not just any grocery store, but the new grocery store that has all the great deals that draw people in from miles away to save pennies at best. Not only is it annoying to even have to go, but add a 4yr old who, more than likely will have to pee at some point, and a group of senior citizens being dropped off by a bus, and you know that there is gonna be trouble.
The trip begins with picking out the cart. The place is so crowded to begin with and my little one decides that she wants the cart that is twice the size of the regular cart therefore making it next to impossible to get through the aisles even if nobody is there. Ok, cart picked, and we are off and running, or slowly rolling.
My beef with this particular store( Shop Rite of Niskayuna) is that they have more employees working in the aisles than customers shopping, so navigating your way through without hitting somebody is next to impossible. We navigate through and are going great, checking things off and having a blast when all the sudden here it comes..."Dad I gotta pee" So off we go, cart half full and looking for the bathroom which of course is in the least accessible spot in the store. We do our business and exit as the older gentleman in the flannel waits outside the stall to get ready to take care of his morning business. Dude really, do that at home, the grocery sore should be a last pee resort not a place to drop the kids at the pool.
So we continue, and now the place is packed. The older ladies who are once smiling are now bumping carts and not acting so cordially to one another. Finally it happens, the cart stand off. Two ladies trying to navigate the aisle with room for only one, one smiles, the other does not and verbally assaults. "It's not that bad " I say as we pass and smile as to say get a grip on yourself it's the grocery store. There are much bigger issues in the world than you and your produce, TRUST ME !!
We make it through and I need a stiff drink and a massage. My shoulders are up high and if somebody comes near me they are going to get slapped. The entire time my 4 yr old is singing a Rihanna song " Cheers to the freakin weekend". Man I love this kid, the world could be on fire and she would still be singing. Ahh, the parking lot. We have made it to a safe place where there is no blue hair, no cart wars and a sense of peace. After all that, I check the receipt in the car and realize I forgot to use two coupons and got jacked on an item that was supposed to be on sale. Normally not a big deal, but my wife is a coupon clipping maniac. I ponder going back in to get the adjustment, but the blue haired bus pulls up to pick up the seniors, so instead of going in I decide to scrap the receipt and make no mention of the shopping slip ups of the day. My 4yr old has no idea so I am safe. Good times !! Well, tomorrow is gym day and if last weeks trainer smash into the machine is any indication on how it will go, you might wanna tune in.
SVP-OUT!
Well, today was the day to go to the grocery store, not just any grocery store, but the new grocery store that has all the great deals that draw people in from miles away to save pennies at best. Not only is it annoying to even have to go, but add a 4yr old who, more than likely will have to pee at some point, and a group of senior citizens being dropped off by a bus, and you know that there is gonna be trouble.
The trip begins with picking out the cart. The place is so crowded to begin with and my little one decides that she wants the cart that is twice the size of the regular cart therefore making it next to impossible to get through the aisles even if nobody is there. Ok, cart picked, and we are off and running, or slowly rolling.
My beef with this particular store( Shop Rite of Niskayuna) is that they have more employees working in the aisles than customers shopping, so navigating your way through without hitting somebody is next to impossible. We navigate through and are going great, checking things off and having a blast when all the sudden here it comes..."Dad I gotta pee" So off we go, cart half full and looking for the bathroom which of course is in the least accessible spot in the store. We do our business and exit as the older gentleman in the flannel waits outside the stall to get ready to take care of his morning business. Dude really, do that at home, the grocery sore should be a last pee resort not a place to drop the kids at the pool.
So we continue, and now the place is packed. The older ladies who are once smiling are now bumping carts and not acting so cordially to one another. Finally it happens, the cart stand off. Two ladies trying to navigate the aisle with room for only one, one smiles, the other does not and verbally assaults. "It's not that bad " I say as we pass and smile as to say get a grip on yourself it's the grocery store. There are much bigger issues in the world than you and your produce, TRUST ME !!
We make it through and I need a stiff drink and a massage. My shoulders are up high and if somebody comes near me they are going to get slapped. The entire time my 4 yr old is singing a Rihanna song " Cheers to the freakin weekend". Man I love this kid, the world could be on fire and she would still be singing. Ahh, the parking lot. We have made it to a safe place where there is no blue hair, no cart wars and a sense of peace. After all that, I check the receipt in the car and realize I forgot to use two coupons and got jacked on an item that was supposed to be on sale. Normally not a big deal, but my wife is a coupon clipping maniac. I ponder going back in to get the adjustment, but the blue haired bus pulls up to pick up the seniors, so instead of going in I decide to scrap the receipt and make no mention of the shopping slip ups of the day. My 4yr old has no idea so I am safe. Good times !! Well, tomorrow is gym day and if last weeks trainer smash into the machine is any indication on how it will go, you might wanna tune in.
SVP-OUT!
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