As I have gone back and reviewed my previous blogs, it has become obvious to me that through all of the stories and all of the ups and downs of being a SAHD, I have neglected to take a moment to thank the one that has made all of this possible.
You see, in order to get promoted to the SVP of Household Operations, wifey had to work her tail off to get where SHE is. As I look back on our situation, I realize just how lucky I am . Most SAHD's, or stay at home parents for that matter always talk about how thankless and difficult this job is. As I dig deeper, I realize it is relatively easy compared to the role of a working Mom. Wifey has never once complained about the role she plays in our family. Never once while we were living in St Louis did she complain about all the late night flights home and hotel rooms she stayed in over the years to support our family. She tried to remain positive, but through all the late goodnight calls to the girls and I, I knew deep down she was missing them tremendously.
I can't for a second imagine what it would be like to do what she did while we lived in Missouri. See, our initial move to the Midwest was not met with overwhelming joy. While it was a promotion for my wife, it also meant that the family was going to be relocating. We were moving halfway across the country, away from family, and really had no idea when or if we would be moving back close to home. I don't know about you, but that would be pressure I would not want on my shoulders. We told everyone that it was a two to three year deal, but in reality we had no idea how long the journey would be.
When we initially made the move, she promised me that she would do everything she could to get us back closer to family. Now since I had worked for the same company for a long time, I knew this would be difficult if not impossible to deliver. You don't get to pick your next spot, and these positions only open every once in a while. She knew that the move was a difficult one for me, and that plunking us down in the middle of nowhere was not going to be easy for anyone. It was going to require a new school, new friends, and not a family member within 1,000 miles to help during the transition. She traveled every other week for the first year that we were there, and to say that it was difficult would be an understatement. But as I look back I realize now that it was just as difficult for her. All the time that "I" was getting to watch the girls grow up, was in turn time that "SHE" was not. I tried not to complain about my day or the girls when she called and put on a happy face for her when she walked through the door after a 3 day trip back East. I tried my best to be conscious of the fact that she was missing the girls and the moaning about silly things would only make it more difficult for her. But sometimes that was easier said than done.
For two years almost to the tee, she delivered as promised. Not only were we moving due to her promotion, we were headed back closer to home. Win-Win for all. Wifey would not have to travel anymore. She would be based out of an office and really only have to do a day trip here and there. The kids are elated that Mom is home for dinner every night, and Dad is ecstatic that his better half is home every night to watch reality TV and chat with me on the couch. Having her around is fantastic. You see, living the lonely life of a SAHD while wifey traveled was hard, but in the end, worth every second.
So wifey, this is me saying THANK YOU! Thanks for all the sacrifices you have made over the past few years, but most importantly, THANK YOU for allowing me to have this time with our girls. It really has been the best few years for me. I have learned a great deal about myself and the girls. The hard work that you have put in has paid off in terms of a very good life for our family. I do appreciate all that you do for us. Not only are you a pretty good RVP:), but you are an amazing wife and Mom!
We are all very proud of you and what you have been able to accomplish. That being said, do you think we might be able to stay here for a while? I kinda like it here.
SVP-OUT!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
"You want a what ? "
A wise man once told me " you should never have more kids than arms. " I must say, I totally agree. We have finally gotten to a position where both kids are out of diapers, they can walk up and down the steps on their own, and they sleep through the night. To put an end to such a great thing would just seem unfair. Well guess what? Wifey is starting the negotiations again for #3.
I take a look at this in a diplomatic way. I look at the important facts that are presented and weigh the pros and cons to see if this is the right move for the "team". For the life of me, I can't figure out where she is coming from.
Let's take a look at a few factors, shall we :
1. I love sleep - Sleep in our house comes at a premium. The girls are not late sleepers so the weekends do not offer any relief from the normal everyday schedule. I am not saying that this is the most important thing to me, but having the girls sleeping through the night is a bonus. I can clearly remember the nights with the kids when they were not sleeping through the night. We were getting up every three hours to feed, we were grumpy in the morning, and coffee did NOTHING to help the cause. I distinctly remember one evening in Baltimore where I was banging my head against the wall as I was feeding the oldest one while she was devouring a bottle.
Then there is the monitor. We are about to get rid of the monitor for the little one and go to a monitor free home. The monitor is a game to wifey and I. She thinks that I don't know that she is pretending to sleep when I get up to answer the call. Unfortunately for her, our youngest actually calls out "Mommy", which gives her no out. I typically giggle when this happens and go right back to sleep. I can do many things as the SVP, but transforming into Mommy is not one of them. And for the record, wifey loves sleep more than me, so the thought of splitting feedings is a pipe dream.
2. We like to travel - Before wifey and I had children we loved to take trips! We would go on cruises, go to Aruba, but most importantly go anywhere whenever we wanted to. Since having our princesses' we have been limited to the sights and sounds of one particular mouse that lives in a Magic Kingdom. I am not saying that I have not had a blast in Disney, I just think its time for us to be able to sit down to a meal and not be joined by cartoon characters and singing it's a small world. This year we are taking our first all inclusive vacation with the girls and I am stoked to say the least. I am looking forward to them being able to enjoy this type of vacation. They both are good eaters so they will try food and they love the water so we will be able to have some good family time in the water together. Having a 3rd puts us back a few years on the vacation circuit. That may sound extremely selfish, but being able to hop on a plane with two small kids and not worrying about implosion is huge. I want to travel with a suitcase, not a suitcase, Boppy, car seat, pack n play, seventeen bottles and a diaper bag.
3. I want to go back to work - Ok, so maybe I should have listed this on the top. There has always been the feeling that I want to go back to work when the girls are both in school full-time. As it stands now the youngest is a year away. She will go to Kindergarten this year and then we are off and running. I have always wanted to open my own gym for kids, and with both kids in school I will have time to get things off the ground. A little one puts me back a few years because you know who would be staying home. Yes, I know, short sighted. I can hear all of you Moms saying it right now, but at least I am being honest. I have appreciated the time that I have had home with the girls, and I have gotten to do something that 99% of men will never get to do.
Yes, I know that these reasons seem selfish, and I also understand that they are all temporary things that we will breeze through. That being said, these are my arguments and I am sticking to them. I thought the solution was the ten pound beast but that backfired completely. I think we might have to adopt a 19 year old swedish swimsuit model. This way we have a built in babysitter. Kidding, just wanted to make sure you were still paying attention.
SVP- OUT !
I take a look at this in a diplomatic way. I look at the important facts that are presented and weigh the pros and cons to see if this is the right move for the "team". For the life of me, I can't figure out where she is coming from.
Let's take a look at a few factors, shall we :
1. I love sleep - Sleep in our house comes at a premium. The girls are not late sleepers so the weekends do not offer any relief from the normal everyday schedule. I am not saying that this is the most important thing to me, but having the girls sleeping through the night is a bonus. I can clearly remember the nights with the kids when they were not sleeping through the night. We were getting up every three hours to feed, we were grumpy in the morning, and coffee did NOTHING to help the cause. I distinctly remember one evening in Baltimore where I was banging my head against the wall as I was feeding the oldest one while she was devouring a bottle.
Then there is the monitor. We are about to get rid of the monitor for the little one and go to a monitor free home. The monitor is a game to wifey and I. She thinks that I don't know that she is pretending to sleep when I get up to answer the call. Unfortunately for her, our youngest actually calls out "Mommy", which gives her no out. I typically giggle when this happens and go right back to sleep. I can do many things as the SVP, but transforming into Mommy is not one of them. And for the record, wifey loves sleep more than me, so the thought of splitting feedings is a pipe dream.
2. We like to travel - Before wifey and I had children we loved to take trips! We would go on cruises, go to Aruba, but most importantly go anywhere whenever we wanted to. Since having our princesses' we have been limited to the sights and sounds of one particular mouse that lives in a Magic Kingdom. I am not saying that I have not had a blast in Disney, I just think its time for us to be able to sit down to a meal and not be joined by cartoon characters and singing it's a small world. This year we are taking our first all inclusive vacation with the girls and I am stoked to say the least. I am looking forward to them being able to enjoy this type of vacation. They both are good eaters so they will try food and they love the water so we will be able to have some good family time in the water together. Having a 3rd puts us back a few years on the vacation circuit. That may sound extremely selfish, but being able to hop on a plane with two small kids and not worrying about implosion is huge. I want to travel with a suitcase, not a suitcase, Boppy, car seat, pack n play, seventeen bottles and a diaper bag.
3. I want to go back to work - Ok, so maybe I should have listed this on the top. There has always been the feeling that I want to go back to work when the girls are both in school full-time. As it stands now the youngest is a year away. She will go to Kindergarten this year and then we are off and running. I have always wanted to open my own gym for kids, and with both kids in school I will have time to get things off the ground. A little one puts me back a few years because you know who would be staying home. Yes, I know, short sighted. I can hear all of you Moms saying it right now, but at least I am being honest. I have appreciated the time that I have had home with the girls, and I have gotten to do something that 99% of men will never get to do.
Yes, I know that these reasons seem selfish, and I also understand that they are all temporary things that we will breeze through. That being said, these are my arguments and I am sticking to them. I thought the solution was the ten pound beast but that backfired completely. I think we might have to adopt a 19 year old swedish swimsuit model. This way we have a built in babysitter. Kidding, just wanted to make sure you were still paying attention.
SVP- OUT !
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
"The Play Date"
So, you have mastered the art of Mommy and Me, now it's time to introduce you to the concept of the play date. What appears to be a simple thing really has quite a few nuances that you need to understand before you enter into the agreement.
I was introduced to the play date when my oldest came home from camp one day and said" Daddy, I wanna play with my friend from camp". The only issue with this was we did not know her or her parents and she lived all the way at the other end of our development. So, I tried to ignore the request for a few days but eventually she broke me down with the nagging and constant asking. She came home one day and I reluctantly loaded her and the little one in the car and we headed down the street. Not knowing her Mom at all I figured I was in for a big fat "NO". Here is some strange guy pulling up to my house asking me to take my daughter back to his house. Well, guess what ....I RULE..not only did I get my oldest's buddy but I was able to convince her to send the little one too who is the same age as mine! I am good at what I do. Needless to say,play date went well and Mom came to pick them up in a few hours.....win-win! This will not always be the case fellas so you need to prepare yourself for the potential pitfalls. In an effort to provide some guidance, I have come up with a few ground rules for the first few play dates.
Rule # 1 : This is a drop off only activity. When you come to drop off your child I am not expecting you to come in as I will not be planning on coming in to your home. There will be no wine and cheese on the counter and limited chit chat. I have my days planned out to the minute and throwing the Mommy visit in wrecks my mojo! See, when the kids are playing, they are not asking me for juice, or a snack, or to turn on the TV, so I am actually able to get a lot done around the house. Selfishly you should enjoy this! I am giving you the next few hours to run errands, go to the gym, go for a run, or simply go home and slug a bottle of Kendall so you can deal with your kid when you pick her back up. Enjoy the free time, as I know I will.
Rule # 2 : I am not a food pantry. If your kid is coming with the intention of eating us out of house and home she is sorely mistaken. I give my kids one snack when they get home and that's it! There is no munching on chips while they take in mindless Spongebob on the couch in this house. If my daughter asks me for a second snack for your child the answer will still be "NO".
Rule # 3 : If your child is coming to my house to leave an indentation on my couch while she watches TV, Im sorry, that is simply not going to happen. See, my oldest actually turns off the TV when friends come over and immediately starts asking what activities they want to do. I always tell my kids how great it was when I was little. We went outside and played until it was dark. We had no electronic devices, no Temple Run and no Disney Channel. All we had was a bike and a streetlight which magically told us what time we needed to go home based on the reflection on your handlebars.
Rule # 4 : I will not be doing makeup or painting nails. My kids often come home from play dates with eye shadow, lipstick, and nail polish on. I wear trifocals and can barely see the keyboard I am currently typing on. I take my kids to get their nails done, so the chances of me doing your kids' is zero.
Rule # 5 : If you make a mess and don't clean it up, or treat my kids like garbage, there will be no invite back. See, my kids know that when they are leaving someone's house they need to start cleaning up 10 minutes before they leave. If your kids ransack the place and roll out, my kids end up cleaning and crying.....that simply does not work. Vomiting in the house will also put you in jeopardy of being invited back. My eldest had a play date a few weeks back and the little buddy power booted all over her room. Uh, there should be a rule that if your kid throws up at somebody else's house, you should have to come and clean it up . I was dry heaving for hours and the room still doesn't smell the same.
I have created these rules for the "newbies". The neighborhood kids pretty much have free reign over my house because I know them and their parents. These rules apply for the first few play dates and eventually will lead to a meeting with the parents. Once we have broken bread and enjoyed a beverage together rules become a bit more lax. I have been fortunate so far that most of my kids' friends have really cool Dads with similar interests. This is a win-win for all, as the kid play date soon becomes a parent play date on Friday nights with some apps, a few adult beverages, and a lot of laughs!
SVP - OUT!
I was introduced to the play date when my oldest came home from camp one day and said" Daddy, I wanna play with my friend from camp". The only issue with this was we did not know her or her parents and she lived all the way at the other end of our development. So, I tried to ignore the request for a few days but eventually she broke me down with the nagging and constant asking. She came home one day and I reluctantly loaded her and the little one in the car and we headed down the street. Not knowing her Mom at all I figured I was in for a big fat "NO". Here is some strange guy pulling up to my house asking me to take my daughter back to his house. Well, guess what ....I RULE..not only did I get my oldest's buddy but I was able to convince her to send the little one too who is the same age as mine! I am good at what I do. Needless to say,play date went well and Mom came to pick them up in a few hours.....win-win! This will not always be the case fellas so you need to prepare yourself for the potential pitfalls. In an effort to provide some guidance, I have come up with a few ground rules for the first few play dates.
Rule # 1 : This is a drop off only activity. When you come to drop off your child I am not expecting you to come in as I will not be planning on coming in to your home. There will be no wine and cheese on the counter and limited chit chat. I have my days planned out to the minute and throwing the Mommy visit in wrecks my mojo! See, when the kids are playing, they are not asking me for juice, or a snack, or to turn on the TV, so I am actually able to get a lot done around the house. Selfishly you should enjoy this! I am giving you the next few hours to run errands, go to the gym, go for a run, or simply go home and slug a bottle of Kendall so you can deal with your kid when you pick her back up. Enjoy the free time, as I know I will.
Rule # 2 : I am not a food pantry. If your kid is coming with the intention of eating us out of house and home she is sorely mistaken. I give my kids one snack when they get home and that's it! There is no munching on chips while they take in mindless Spongebob on the couch in this house. If my daughter asks me for a second snack for your child the answer will still be "NO".
Rule # 3 : If your child is coming to my house to leave an indentation on my couch while she watches TV, Im sorry, that is simply not going to happen. See, my oldest actually turns off the TV when friends come over and immediately starts asking what activities they want to do. I always tell my kids how great it was when I was little. We went outside and played until it was dark. We had no electronic devices, no Temple Run and no Disney Channel. All we had was a bike and a streetlight which magically told us what time we needed to go home based on the reflection on your handlebars.
Rule # 4 : I will not be doing makeup or painting nails. My kids often come home from play dates with eye shadow, lipstick, and nail polish on. I wear trifocals and can barely see the keyboard I am currently typing on. I take my kids to get their nails done, so the chances of me doing your kids' is zero.
Rule # 5 : If you make a mess and don't clean it up, or treat my kids like garbage, there will be no invite back. See, my kids know that when they are leaving someone's house they need to start cleaning up 10 minutes before they leave. If your kids ransack the place and roll out, my kids end up cleaning and crying.....that simply does not work. Vomiting in the house will also put you in jeopardy of being invited back. My eldest had a play date a few weeks back and the little buddy power booted all over her room. Uh, there should be a rule that if your kid throws up at somebody else's house, you should have to come and clean it up . I was dry heaving for hours and the room still doesn't smell the same.
I have created these rules for the "newbies". The neighborhood kids pretty much have free reign over my house because I know them and their parents. These rules apply for the first few play dates and eventually will lead to a meeting with the parents. Once we have broken bread and enjoyed a beverage together rules become a bit more lax. I have been fortunate so far that most of my kids' friends have really cool Dads with similar interests. This is a win-win for all, as the kid play date soon becomes a parent play date on Friday nights with some apps, a few adult beverages, and a lot of laughs!
SVP - OUT!
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